Help I’m Alive

Art, philosophical, poetry

I realized I have not posted on here in a while… quite a while actually. Writing terms papers does that really, too much writing on one day and BAM, don’t feel like writing anymore for the day. Hence the Metric song title as a blog title (very good song by the way, I love the songs where you like the sound, and then actually listen to the lyrics and enjoy those too). BUT I am back with a nice little poem and maybe a few thoughts somewhere in between. So this poem is a few weeks ago. I have recently began to focus on a workout now that I’m away from the barn so often, I actually need to exercise myself. I took up yoga, Vinyasa style, as it’s offered at my school. Pretty neat eh? I love it, and at the end of each class there is a meditation portion that I thoroughly enjoy. You’re not meant to think about anything in particular, but I make sure to write directly after it to have a record of that session. Sometimes I come up with great ideas, others I just feel  really refreshed. But this poem was written as I was walking home from the class:

I feel the hollow

where the ribs hold up my skin

and the muscles pull them upwards

up and up

to breathe deeper

            it’s obscure in there

the only light let in

from the life I need

the blood rushing around and through

I feel the vibrations

everything within is moving

sluggish, upbeat

but today it holds strong

as far as it can manage.

My toes are cold

the extremities are losing purpose

my body must be in a bad state

I feel them as numb

an odd sensation

when I can still move at will

unlike sleeping

because I have full control

if I need to be awake

            in an instance I will be

and to feel the lack of reason

to feel the limbs fold in

when the most vital needs win the struggle

of circulation

chokes me.

Where does it stop

do I decide how much is needed

or will it tell me

or never stop until it is all

shut down.

Do you ever feel the sensation of just being? No focus on the world around, but only on the world running inside you. It’s magnificent; I never realized what I was taking for granted in myself. The way you breathe, the circulation of everything necessary… In this age, we’re so focused on the material, emotional feelings and such around us and I admit, I do it too. The art around me on my walls attests to that easily; the stack of clothing I just unpacked made me very happy at its presence in my hands as my own. But to step back every so often, to just feel this world without judgments, emotions or an inner dialogue really gives the chance to experience it. It’s like a next step from realizing yourself: placing yourself in the world as its not so different from the body’s rhythm. It’s too cold now to just go out an sit in a park (I don’t even know if there is a park nearby), but the few instances that I can, I just observe. In the end, it might not be the best thing to do as you do become ‘outside’ of it all but I feel it can center in a way that I have never been able to experience before. It’s great to get different views every so often, isn’t it?

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Oh I need to do another post on my Halloween research, that stuff was interesting… Maybe I’ll post it tomorrow if I have the time, share my horrific and ghoulish findings 🙂

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